For those of us who were there the 2014 draft will be remembered forever. Mostly for Andrew Wiggins jacket which seemed to be an exact replica of the drapes in my aunt Marie s living room except with sleeves.
But there were players selected 60 of them and we ve got grades on those picks.
Commissioner Adam Silver and the 2014 NBA draft class (AP Photo) Atlanta Hawks BAdreian Payne is a senior which to some means he should eat dinner at 4 30 and qualify for a discounted bus pass. We re not buying it. Payne is a tough hard nosed big man who can shoot and though the Hawks needed a small forward those are easy to find. Atlanta also did interesting things in the second round bringing in Walter Tavares who is 7 3 with the build of a utility pole and guard Lamar Patterson.
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Boston Celtics AAccording to legend draftee Marcus Smart once bit off a guy s finger for calling him Marcus Not So Smart and includes stealing candy from babies as one of his hobbies. Also according to legend Rajon Rondo once smashed a chalkboard in the Celtics locker room because he decided he no longer liked chalk. We don t believe in legends around here they re both big point guards who can t shoot which means these two will be the best of friends. Oh and James Young is a nifty pickup at No. 17.
Brooklyn Nets CThe Nets didn t have any picks but seeing as the thing is being held right there in their building they apparently said Aw heck and purchased a few late spots. They added second rounders Markel Brown and Xavier Thames as well as big man Cory Jefferson all of whom will look good on D League rosters next year.
Charlotte Hornets AThe drafting of Noah Vonleh with the ninth pick is probably bad news for last year s lottery pick Cody Zeller who plays the same position as Vonleh except he doesn t do it as well. That was on the forefront of Hornets fans minds last night and though you might feel bad for Zeller consider what it was like for Bismack Biyombo who wasn t on anyone s mind at all. The Hornets wanted shooting too and their ability to land P.J. Hairston late in the first round was a perfect fit.
Chicago Bulls CThe Bulls wanted Doug McDermott the way my parents dog wants bacon though presumably Gar Forman was not gyrating on anyone s leg over it. They got their man by packaging their two lower picks and though they have the challenge of figuring out just how to deploy a 6 6 power forward they also have the best pure shooter in the draft.
Cleveland Cavaliers AThere was ample temptation out there for Cleveland to do something stupid and if the past year has taught us anything it is that the Cavaliers rarely pass on the opportunity to do something stupid. New GM David Griffin though wears fancy glasses and as the old saying goes People in fancy glasses don t do stupid things. Taking Andrew Wiggins first was the right move and picking up outstanding shooter Joe Harris in the second round was a bonus.
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Denver Nuggets BThis is a true story about Bosnian center Jusuf Nurkic. He began playing basketball because his agent read a story in the paper about a very tall policeman. The agent found the policeman asked him if he had a son and taught him basketball. The lesson is this Always read the newspaper if only for stories about tall people. The Nuggets took Nurkic with the 16th pick then selected fast dropping guard Gary Harris at No. 19.
Detroit Pistons CThe Pistons got injured (but talented) guard Spencer Dinwiddie in the second round which means that Dinwiddie can now quit his job as a good hearted 19th century London bootblack in a Charles Dickens novel.
Houston Rockets CYou know that scene in Citizen Kane where they re looking at the staff photo of the New York Chronicle the best in the business and a year later the entire staff is working for the New York Inquirer Sometimes I think Daryl Morey looks at other team photos the same way Someday you will ALL be Houston Rockets They took Swiss forward Clint Capela in the first round and went with polished Arizona guard Nick Johnson in the second but let s face it the summer is all about LeBron James Carmelo Anthony or Kevin Love.
LA Clippers BThe last time the Clippers drafted a Wilcox it was Chris and they d rather not discuss that. Instead they d like to point out that C.J. Wilcox is a four year guard out of Washington who made 38.9 percent of his 3s in his career. They have Jared Dudley and J.J. Redick which is a fair bit of shooting to have on the roster but heck why not add more
LA Lakers BIf you listen to some Julius Randle has the wingspan of your average Tyrannosaurus Rex making it all the more remarkable that he averaged 15.0 points and 10.4 rebounds for Kentucky last season and that he can feed himself. The last first round pick to play for the Lakers as a rookie was Javaris Crittenton in 2007 so this whole thing will be new for Lakers fans. No pressure Julius.
Memphis Grizzlies CSo did they take Jordan Adams solely for the Grizzly Adams moniker or what If in the future there is a prospect with the last name Murders will we wind up with Grizzly Murders That will give me nightmares. Adams was seen as a fringe first rounder but he is a solid scorer and all around contributor.
Miami Heat BRemember how in Cleveland one reason that things went sour for LeBron James was that the organization let him have the run of the place and he benefited from having that change in Miami Well James was cheerleading for the Heat to take Shabazz Napier on draft night and sure enough the Heat took Shabazz Napier. Some things never change folks.
Milwaukee Bucks AMuch was made of the fact that Jabari Parker actually wanted to play in Milwaukee but that mostly comes from people who have had the pork knuckles or Count Esterhazy schnitzel at Mader s. If they had the question would be more like Who would NOT want to play in Milwaukee
Minnesota Timberwolves AZach LaVine should not be confused with Adam Levine who is terrible nor should he be confused with Sheldon the Machine Levene who is actually Jack Lemmon. LaVine is a knockout athlete who was none too pleased about falling to No. 13 and will exact his revenge through a series of thunderous dunks over the course of the next year or so. The Wolves also added Glenn Robinson III in the second round and he s probably not so happy either.
New Orleans Pelicans CThe Pelicans had to deal away promising tough minded fringe NBA point guard Pierre Jackson in order to land tough minded fringe NBA point guard Russ Smith with the 47th pick. In light of the money they re paying Eric Gordon and the overall vastness of the universe when compared to this little blue marble we call Earth it hardly seems important.
New York Knicks ASo Phil Jackson woke up on Wednesday with no draft picks. On Thursday he went to bed having picked Cleanthony Early and Thanasis Antetokounmpo a pair of first round talents as well as French forward Louis Labeyrie who also makes an excellent Bourdeaux. These are not franchise altering moves but it is an impressive bit of alchemy to get that much out of nothing.
Oklahoma City Thunder BI heard the word grinder used so many times in connection with Stanford forward Josh Huestis that you d think he was the owner/operator of a highway rest stop Blimpie. He is a questionable pick given he was not seen as a first rounder by most but he can chip in for a contender right away. The pick of Mitch McGary out because of a back injury and suspended because of a drug violation could prove to be inspired.
Orlando Magic BPower forward Aaron Gordon has upside written all over him which as tattoos go looks as strange as it sounds. Orlando needed a point guard and the assumption was that they would take Marcus Smart or Dante Exum. But you know what they say about assumptions You should not make them. The Magic were able to swing a deal for Elfrid Payton considered by some to be better at least than Smart if not Exum. Orlando still has much to figure out on a crowded roster but they have potential.
Philadelphia Sixers BThere is eventually going to be a draft in which Sam Hinkie owns 59 of the 60 picks (with one left over for the Spurs at No. 30) and uses them all on players with significant injuries or international contracts. Seriously if you re a prospect looking to work out for the Sixers here s some advice Bring crutches. They love that stuff. Still huge upside in this bunch for the Sixers with Joel Embiid and Dario Saric coming in the first round and first round talents K.J. McDaniels Jerami Grant and Vasilije The Wonder Jelly Micic in the second round.
Phoenix Suns AThey had three picks in the first round so they had no shortage of opportunities to pick up something useful. T.J. Warren and Tyler Ennis are accomplished college players who can be factors right away important for a bunch that is ready to become a playoff team. But the guy who stole the show was Bogdan Bogdanovic a player so nice they named him twice. And added ovic.
Sacramento Kings CWait didn t the Kings just draft their future star shooting guard Ben McLemore last year And now we ve got Nik Stauskas coming in Maybe the Kings see Stauskas as a guy they can convert to point guard and true the front office is still new around here. But the Kings have been trying to make shooting guards into point guards for about a decade. Time for a new plan.
San Antonio Spurs AYou just know that Spurs coach Gregg Popovich was sitting back with a bag of Funyuns and a Dr. Pepper waiting to see which high quality player the other 29 dunderheads let slip to him. It wound up being UCLA s Kyle Anderson a versatile forward capable of playing multiple positions and rated by some as a lottery talent. Cue the Popovich maniacal laugh.
Toronto Raptors DWith their first pick the Raptors selected forward Bruno Caboclo who has been called The Brazilian Kevin Durant though that mostly only happens in the Caboclo household. The most repeated nicknames for him on draft night were Who and How Do You Spell That and there is a good chance those nicknames will catch on. Perhaps he will be a star someday and Masai Ujiri can call up each one of us and yell BRUNO CABOCLO THAT S WHO
Utah Jazz AYou might think that Dante Exum is the coolest name for a basketball player going and that he almost has to become a star because of it. But then his dad s name is Cecil Exum which might be even better than Dante and Cecil never quite made it in the NBA. The Jazz have reason to be optimistic though because not only did they get the guy some feel is the best player in the draft they also got skilled wingman Rodney Hood who was a potential lottery pick at No. 23.
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