Everyone slows down to see a wreck on the highway. Few of us stick around to see the cleanup and the repairs.
But that s what Lena Dunham is asking us to do in her hotly anticipated memoir Not That Kind of Girl A Young Woman Tells You What She s Learned. The book published Tuesday reveals a dark past laden with sexual assault eating disorders and a dire discomfort in her own skin.
It s a lot more naked than Dunham s character on Girls.
Given that Dunham s story includes therapy when she was in her single digits ongoing battles with obsessive compulsive disorder and more failed relationships than Henry VIII some readers might be wondering what they can learn from this privileged 28 year old s so called life.
Possibly everything.
By revealing so much Lena Dunham becomes that much more relatable because she s not hiding her imperfections like most young women in Hollywood do pop culture and lifestyle expert Valerie Greenberg tells the Daily News.
She s no bulls she s down to earth and she seems like she can be your best friend.
AP Dunham's book was released Tuesday.Relatability is quite an achievement for a self obsessed artist who wrote and directed her first full length feature film Tiny Furniture at age 24 and won a Golden Globe last year for writing directing and acting in her hit HBO series.
She has been called the voice of her generation and named one of Time magazine s 100 most influential people in the world. She has completed her third season of Girls and signed a $3.5 million book deal.
The resulting memoir inspired by Helen Gurley Brown s 1982 credo Having It All which Dunham happened upon at a thrift shop is a vehicle for twentysomethings to navigate the transition from adolescence to adulthood.
In other words here s a guide for steering clear of Lena Dunham s wreckage. Perhaps Dunham s 28 year old peers Lindsay Lohan Shia LaBeouf and Amanda Bynes should read it.
If I could take what I ve learned and make one menial job easier for you or prevent you from having the kind of sex where you feel you must keep your sneakers on in case you want to run away during the act then every misstep of mine was worthwhile Dunham writes in the introduction.
Fully half of the book is about sex specifically the neurotic Dunham s inability to enjoy it.
I was so worried about whether other people were enjoying sex with me that it never would have occurred to me that it was an act I was supposed to receive any pleasure from she writes.
The insecurity led to reliance on prescription drugs she carries around Advil Lexapro Mucinex Klonopin and Tamiflu for emotional security as well as anorexia and a sexual assault in college for which naturally she blames herself.
I feel like there are 50 ways it s my fault she writes in the chapter titled Barry.
I was hungry to be seen. But I also know that at no moment did I consent to being handled that way. I never gave him permission.
The lesson The truth can boost self image not destroy it.
The knowledge (that I didn t consent) has kept me from sinking Dunham writes.
Dunham in an Adam and Eve sketch on Saturday Night Live in MarchDunham s version of self help is definitely more self than help but even as readers find themselves cringing they ll also be laughing say at the time Dunham masturbated in third grade (page 16) or had diarrhea during a nude scene (page 99) or when she compares sex to shoving a loofah into a Mason jar (page 10).
Much like her life Dunham is turning her 12 city book tour whose 8 000 out of town tickets sold out with some being scalped for $900 into a traveling variety show with comedian Amy Schumer and poet Mary Karr. Last month nearly 600 people responded to an open call to perform at her book signings. She ended up hiring and eventually paying after she was caught stiffing them a sand artist a ukulele player and some a cappella singers.
In New York fans had to wait on line to see her and hundreds did Tuesday.
She s refreshing said teacher Nicole Dostal 37 of the East Village. She s real so it s unique and that s impressive despite her age.
Ali Fischer 29 was also on line at the Union Square Barnes Noble hours before Dunham s appearance Tuesday night.
She s not a fake added Fischer. She s a real person and she s entertaining because she talks about real people.
HBO Dunham with Adam Driver in GirlsThere is one thing Dunham won t discuss and it offers perhaps her greatest lesson. Her lips and her pen cap are absolutely sealed when it comes to talking about her boyfriend of two years musician Jack Antonoff.
I have written sentences about how the first time we made love it felt like dropping my keys on the table after a long trip ... about the way he gathered me up after a long terrible day and put me to bed ... about the fact that he is my family now. But surveying those words I realized they are mine. He is mine to protect she writes.
Women have been handing down that bit of advice for generations but it certainly applies to information Less can indeed be more.
With Zoe Lake
WISE WORDS FROM FORMER TWENTYSOMETHINGS
Lena Dunham has a lot (a real lot) to say about what she has learned in her 28 years on Earth. But any New York woman could write her own book of life lessons from the school of hard knocks. So here are some excerpts
Barry King/FilmMagic The star with her boyfriend musician Jack AntonoffCarol Massa 68 retired professor and painter I tell young women Don t let anyone stop you from following your passion. In my 20s a well known gallery director in SoHo told me I would have more success if I were a man so I started using only my last name when I signed my paintings. It worked.
Linda John 67 Wales Don t do anything that doesn t make you happy ... Also stay in shape. I was getting ready for my office Christmas party and I hadn t looked into the mirror and had no idea how much weight I had gained I lost the weight and never put on weight again. You have no idea how bad it felt going to a party and not looking the part.
Sharon Wise 58 Brooklyn student Enjoy the fact that you are young says Wise the mother of two adult daughters. Don t settle. Don t settle down. And don t settle for anything less than you deserve.
Anne Forthenberry 46 Atlanta teacher You put so much time into boys and men (in your 20s). And someday you ll be married and you'll be with a man all the time. You don t get that time with your girlfriends back and once you re married you don t have time to foster those relationships. And lighten up about your bodies. Appreciate your body because you re going to age so enjoy it while you re young Stop worrying about being thin and stop worrying about other people all the time.
Zoe Lake
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Tags entertainment news books lena dunham girls not that kind of girl a young woman tells you what she's learned amy schumer mary karr jack antonoff
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