Live From the basement ballroom of the Washington Hilton It s Saturday night s White House Correspondents Dinner at which President Barack Obama and Saturday Night Live cast member Cecily Strong each fired shots at both sides of the aisle.
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Was Cecily a Strong host of the annual gathering of press politicos and celebs Did POTUS hold his own with his opening remarks At the risk of a thumb cramp I scrolled through the cable guide until I found C SPAN and watched for you singling out these zingers.
CECILY STRONG
Just because I m a woman doesn t mean I m going to go easy on you people. I m going to go easy on you people because my brain is smaller.
Previous WHCD host Joel McHale proved that speaking at this dinner is an amazing opportunity that can take you from starring on a show on NBC all the way to starring on that same show on Yahoo.
Since I m only a comedian I m not going try to tell you politicians how to do politics. That d be like you guys trying to tell me what to do with my body. Can you imagine
It s great to be here at the Washington Hilton is something a prostitute might say to a congressman.
I don t want to be too hard on the Secret Service because they re the only law enforcement agency in the country that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot.
Fox News is all hot blonde ladies and old dudes. Every show looks like a party scene from Weekend at Bernie s.
Even SNL got criticized for making fun of ISIS. If anyone is guilty of taking ISIS too lightly it s nods head in Obama s direction him.
What can I say about Brian Williams . Nothing because I work for NBC.
This year a representative from Hobby Lobby said they didn t want to pay for employees health care if it covered things like contraceptives which is weird because all i asked him is What aisle is the yarn in '
To the assembled press Raise your right hand and repeat after me I solemnly swear to not talk about Hillary Clinton s appearance because that is not journalism.' Cue much applause
Then regarding Clinton s White House bid I would never blindly endorse a candidate I don t play on SNL.
PRESIDENT OBAMA
After the midterm elections my advisers asked me if I have a bucket list. And I said Well I have something that rhymes with bucket list.'
Today thanks to Obamacare you don t have to worry about losing your insurance if you lose your job. You re welcome Senate Democrats.
Representative Michelle Bachmann actually predicted that I would bring about the biblical End of Days. Now that s a legacy . Lincoln Washington they didn t do that.
Vice President Joe Biden and I have gotten so close in some places in Indiana they won t serve us pizza anymore.
Regarding the black ish cast in attendance I have to give ABC fair warning being black ish only makes you popular for so long. Trust me.
and Donald Trump is here. Still.
Closing out Obama s speech Anger Translator Keegan Michael Key on Hillary Clinton s aggressive campaign fundraising Khaleesi is coming to Westeros
How do you think Cecily Strong did as this year s WHCD host
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